Have you, believing you are in the right, wanted to enforce your view of this on another person? If you find someone who disagrees, you are so angry with them that you will start to hate them, want them removed from your sight or life? And, when you reach the breaking point, want them killed? That’s probably the way a control-freak feels.
Have you balked at someone else’s choice of music, food, books or clothes? Has someone’s taste (or lack of) shocked you? Have you wanted to step into lives and tell them what music to listen to, what food to eat, what books to read or clothes to wear? Did you want to do this because you didn’t want to be “offended” by their taste?
If you dislike a colleague’s working style, have you snapped and said to them, “your way sucks! This is how you do it!” And you do it arrogantly. Some people say the same thing when they see a friend’s lifestyle they don’t like. They feel like they have the right to order the friend around and make their lives “better.” They have always dreamed of seizing control of someone and direct them, and perhaps when the friend does benefit from this control, the friend will thank them and they can be so proud of themselves and boast it to the world. They probably want to be like the hosts of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” only they want to do it by force.
You’ve probably heard someone say, “I know you better than you know yourself. So do as I tell you!” or “I’m disgusted that you think that way. You’re a disgusting person because you don’t react the way I want you to!” Or, “How dare you act like that towards me! When you talk to me, you do it the way I want you to! Give me the manner and respect I want!” So they will want to dictate you and try to run your life for you.
Other examples:
“Why aren’t you outraged at the same thing I'm outraged at? You’re on the side of evil aren’t you? That’s it! I won’t accept any explanation from you! Either you’re with me or against me! Fuck you! I’ll bring you down!”
“I believe everybody should be nice… so I will force them to be nice!”
If you’re like the above, then you are among the people who are making the world hell.
